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Birds, kebabs, curries...not just a night out itinery

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 07:51:00 +0000

Too many celebrations in one weekend can make you either want more or a nice lie down. A night out in South Shields was pretty hilarious seeing the same old haggard faces from many years ago who must religiously go out every Friday. They even wear the same clothes and drink the same drinks. It brought a smirk to my face when I walked past a take-away named 'Abra-Kebabra'. No guesses what they sell. The next night we went to the posher side of South Shields where the haggard faces are more nip & tuck ones, a quieter pub in Cleadon.

Now as I recently had a night out in South Shields, you'd think that I would have seen most weird birds, but at a BBQ near the beach on sunny Sunday, I snapped this one. I guess it is some sort of burlesque seagull with feathered ugg boots. Great for cleaning your blinds.

Later on we met up with friends for birthday and engagement celebrations at Tiger Tiger and Spice Cube for poppadom's and curry. As always was good to catch up and see what pointless banter is left for us to talk about. It appears there's an awful lot left.

Congratulations to Andy & H, a love match doesn't just happen in tennis, but new balls you will always need mate.

6.2 miles of fun

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 12:10:00 +0000

I cannot believe that it's a year since doing the 10K North Tyneside coastal run. It was full-on sunshine last year. This year, we had sunshine again, and no wind apart from that which came from a heavy night out the day before. It's scenic all the way and once you turn the corner to see St. Mary's Lighthouse it doesn't seem too far until the finish. I managed 56 minutes this time, a minute ahead of last year. That tells me I'm getting better or my watch is feeling as old as I did after a couple of mile. It was hard going even though I do that sort of distance every week! Seeing the girlfriend's smiling face and the thought of a whopping great Easter egg makes it all worthwhile though.

That's me with the halo in the photo behind a young Rob Brydon.

Some people can sleep on a washing line

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 23:52:00 +0000

Forget Sport Relief, this fella is 3000 metres up above Germany's highest mountain on a rope can you believe. He walked along it for 995 metres to break a world record for charity. What happened to good old fashioned sitting in a tin bath of beans in your speedos, or having your armpits waxed, or running naked to each of your neighbours and asking them for a cup of sugar? These sort of people are just show offs. I wonder if you asked him the time he would look at his wrist? Or ask him to check if he has deodorant on.

King of the Castle

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 13:38:00 +0000

I can't remember the last time I was in Otterburn, maybe when I was a kid with the school, but at the weekend we stayed there at the Tower Castle Hotel. The lady in my life had decided to surprise me for my birthday, isn't she good? She chose well as it's got awards for its food and as you may know I like a bit of food and to whittle on about it on this web site from time to time. In between the lush food which is all supplied by its farm and local suppliers, we managed a game of darts and some hill walks which helped to soften the belly.

The best walk was in the Cheviot's where the contrast between pure blue sky, green grass and thick snow was at times spectacular. It was fun to step into knee deep snow and try and work out where to go without seeing tracks and paths. That's why we got a bit lost and managed to take a longer route making it 7 miles instead of 5. I still feel full of those Northumbrian breakfasts so could do with another long walk, or maybe a game of darts again. That's what you do when you're this age...

Pushing the love boat out...

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 08:48:00 +0000

So, did you lovers out there treat your women good at the love weekend? Like they say to kids, "Everyday is Christmas for kids". It's the same in my house, the girlfriend might be younger than me but I don't say that to her, but I do say, "Everyday is like Valentine's Day". It still didn't stop me pushing the love boat out (euphemism not intended) with a Saturday night special menu presented to her on the day and prepared and cooked by yours truly.

Keeping it local, we had home-made craster kipper pate with herbed toast. To add to our kipper breath, for mains, it was fillet of beef on a crouton topped with a portobello mushroom and marsala sauce, sauted pototoes and creamed spinach. Both a mouthful to say and eat, but it went down pretty well. Now to make sure you get full brownie points, give the girl a homemade Lindt and almond chocolate fondant and top it with homemade honey ice-cream. You know you've got the fondant right when it oozes gooey chocolate when you delve into it. This picture proves the moment, although it does look a little like something left on the beach on a Sunday morning....

Forget flowers, forget chocolates, deliver these goods. She was wowed, star struck I reckon but well deserved. Happy Valentine to my beautiful girlfriend and to you and all who sail in you.

Bitterly...c...OLD

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 13:06:00 +0000

Good to see the snow back apart from the chaos it appears to cause in our country. I thought I wouldn't let it stop me though so I went for my weekend run in 4 inches of snow and I forgot how good it feels to step in and out of fresh snow and avoid the yellow patches. I got a few funny looks but the jaw was opened the widest from the old lady struggling through the snow with a walking frame. She thought I was mental, but what about her? Surely that's just as mental - going out at the age of 80 with a walking frame with dodgy wheels navigating through snow and ice. Oooh, the eldery of today...

Council find the cause of pot holes trying to hide under blanket

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:25:00 +0000

Some people act older than they are. Take my old friend in this photo for example (it's not Eddie Izzard or William Shatner), he loves to wrap up like an old woman with a blanket and a puffy. He once fell down the stairs in his underpants you know. Anyway it was good to see him and his woman visiting from his foreign land, even if he was ill and couldn't make the previous night out, he made an effort to eat every bit of my lush food the following day (including home made fishcakes, his plate pictured here ready to cook).

Let's hope he hasn't put on weight or his parachute won't fit and the council will have to have a word...

New Year, same old

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 13:48:00 +0000

Thank god it is over, Christmas just makes your fingers automatically dip into sweet tins, nuts, chocolates, cheese, turkey and all the rest. Hope you all had a good time while eating yourself to death. We did (had a good time that is), we managed to get home in one piece after spending new year near Penrith at a farmhouse. There was a lot of snow, a New Years Eve bonfire and loads of food (again) and drink.

In the new year, I've now got to listen to people (as I do every year) telling me they're joining a gym, go for a month then continue to pay £50 monthly for not going for a half the year. If you're one of those people, don't bother talking to me...

Also, the word 'treacherous'. Look, we never use this word normally so why do we insist on using it to describe the weather when it snows?

What a fat christmas pudding

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 08:44:00 +0000

The man night out is of course always a special one. Over the years at Christmas it has turned into a much more civilised event where we dress like a clapped out version of Take That and go for a posh curry. That said we did have a great night at Spiced Cube in Newcastle. The food could've been better but we still made it a good night out with plenty of old stories and constant micky takes (one including the fact that I blog things like this!) Mark who is pictured here was the only one to opt for a dessert which didn't surprise me as his face lit up when he heard the word chocolate fudge cake. He ate the lot and got none on his Mark Owen shirt or his Christmas-bauble-like-head. Like a child he couldn't drink his Cobra but could manage a great fat pudding. Merry Xmas to you all and those millions of blog readers, enjoy the festivities.

Camping night out

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:05:00 +0000

Another comedian at the Live Theatre tempted us to go on a little Christmas night out at the Live Theatre again, battling the blizzards and minus temperatures. We were thoroughly entertained by Jon Richardson who looks like Gino D'Acampo's brother (not that I've met his brother). He presents comedy shows on BBC Radio 6, has supported Alan Carr and been on Have I Got News For You. We had a table right at the front of the stage but he was probably frightened to pick on us, so instead chose a few others in the audience.

The first half was more of a funny chat and it turned out that the whole audience thought he was camp. But what would you do if he asked you to cheer if you think he's camp? Even if he was butch, had a bull terrier on a lead and a huge tattoo on his forehead you would cheer. Actually come to think of it, that sounds camp anyway. Jesus, I don't know what camp is anymore, I've even just cocked my leg as I said that, cheer if you think I'm camp. No wonder he looks like Gino D'ACAMPO.

The second half was funnier again as he did a set he won an award for in Edinburgh. He talks about his life as a single man, his weird thoughts and observations. One included an old couple on a train who were forced to sit apart from each other. After a while Jon couldn't help noticing that the man reached across to his wife, and slapped her head very hard, then nonchalantly carried on reading. He reckons that if you can still play games like that and laugh about it, you've got is sussed. So I'm off to slap the girlfriend...

Soooooth Shields Joe to win

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:27:00 +0000

Being born in South Shields, growing up there and visiting family once a week I feel it is my duty to support the X-Factor finalist Joe McElderry. My mother reckons he's great and shares the same hair dresser with his grandmother - what a brilliant claim to fame. His grandmother (who's just changed her name to 'Vote Joe' - eh!) must've been getting her hair done quite a lot because she's been back and forwards down to London. They missed the plane last week and had to get a taxi there. Wonder if Simon Cowell paid for that, he's not got much money so hope he's not struggling in his monopolisation and world domination of everything that has a pulse.

It's a massive show, brilliant for the area and the boy is a good singer. It's such a shame and annoying when the X-Factor video excerpts show old sofa's in back yards when the cameras come to South Shields. They really know how to paint the wrong picture. Anyway, good luck to Joe. Even Elvis is backing him. I got tickets for the live event in South Shields on Sunday but gave them to my niece, what a great uncle.

In the market for a sausage

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:34:00 +0000

Sometimes, a man just can't resist walking past a german food stall and admiring the size of the sausage. I admired it so much, I just had to have a Super Bratwurst sausage from the Christmas Market in Manchester. They are rather long and stick out of the small buns they put them in. Mine managed to find its way out of the bun and onto my jacket during eating, much to the surprise of those around me. It felt like my fly was open.

3 good time girls, 2 have-a-go hit-men, 1 suicidal double-act...

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:23:00 +0000

I'm such a good son, we took my mother along to see a production at The Live Theatre at the weekend. I must say I really enjoyed it. It was called Jump! and was set in the North East at New Years Eve. It had 3 separate stories, gangsters, suicide and girls drinking. Typical of the North East I reckon, but there was not one mention of Greggs pasties. The acting was great, the story brilliant, the dialog funny and dark and the wine I had was very nice too. Like a Tarantino film, the stories came together right at the end although you could see it coming. It was a really different night out, it touched parts of me I thought only Carlsberg or the girlfriend could. I got someone to take a photo of us at the show - that's me in the middle ;)

I was feeling a bit heavier while watching the play after a top notch meal again from Cafe Vivo. I decided to have real buffalo mozzarella for starters - proper creamy stuff, I could've jumped in it naked. I followed that with beautiful melting Veal, the once controversial meat. I was then forced into eating a chocolate and hazelnut tart. The waiter kindly added a free try of the home-made choc chip ice-cream. Wooo, when I write that down, why I am I not a fat get? No comments please.

Nowt to do with Herbie

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:09:00 +0000

I was expecting to have a nice drive along the coast in a Volkswagen when we were invited to a Beetle Drive at Tynemouth Rowing Club but was shocked to find a totally different experience that was pretty funny. My Gran and girlfriend knew what a Beetle Drive was but not me. For those of you who don't know; it's about throwing a dice to build up a picture of a beetle where numbers on the dice represent parts of its body. Once someone completes the beetle, you shout 'Beetle'. Winners and highest scorers move onto the next table and start again. It's probably where the origins of Swinging came from. As you can imagine, lots of alcohol just adds to the occasion. Even more so with the 80% Stroh Austrian punch (a bit like mulled wine). It involves a special pot over a heat filled with red wine, cinnamon, orange, other spices and this crazy rum called Stroh. A big roll of sugar is melted over the top and it caramelises in the punch. It's got a good kick, keeps you warm and has probably been used to rub graffiti from walls.

Forget wheelchair races, what about pushchairs?

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:06:00 +0000

It was cold, a mud bath, regular cow pats, massive puddles and lots of wobbling bums. No it wasn't a night out in Sunderland or a Latvian lap dancing club, I was doing the 10K Town Moor run in Newcastle. It was enjoyable although you had to watch your footing. A fella with his kid in a pushchair passed me early on, apparently he didn't have a babysitter - classic, only in the North East! I ran past him later. So there's events for walks, runs, cycle races, dog walks etc. It's only a matter of time before there's a pushchair race and the prize is a Greggs sausage roll (the Greggs dummy) for the kid. Even a blind person passed me along with his guide, though he didn't see me giving him the V's. Amazing. Anyway, I managed to do it in 53m 06s which is good for me and my old legs. This rather rigid looking photo was taken before the race of course, hence the lack of mud and the beautiful smile.

Not much of an impression

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 08:51:00 +0000

Can you remember that impressionist from the telly? Us older but good looking generation will remember Mike Yarwood but I'm talking about Alistair McGowan. He's now known more for his green campaigning at Heathrow rather than his old TV series, The Big Impression. The girlfriend and I went along to see him perform at his show and although some of his impressions were good and local (Brendan Foster, Steve Cram, Gazza, Shearer), the gags were pretty poor. I think he's obsessed about football as most of his act was based around it. He revived the impression industry some time ago but it's gone stale again, maybe we need someone else who's more of an all rounder - like Rob Brydon. He ended with his best known impersonation of Dot Cotton who transforms into Harold Steptoe. Overall though it was pretty poor, my girlfriend was even more disappointed, especially later when I did my elephant impression.

Up the peaks with brown cheeks

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:03:00 +0000

A little holiday in South West Scotland was a great idea last week. We stayed in a superb homely cottage not far from the 'food town' of Castle Douglas. Although it's called a food town, apart from their excellent selection of butchers and bakers it's hard to see why. I did of course visit the butchers and was pretty impressed. The girlfriend was even more impressed when I cooked with the meat later that night; a chunky cottage pie. After resting our massive belly's that night, we walked it off the next day in the woods. We did the same the next day but this time climbed 330m metres up to Screel Hill where you can see right across the Solway to the Lake District. It was hard not to laugh when a lady in front fell flat on her face in the mud. I picked her up only to find she had a hilarious mud beard. Unfortunately she cut her cheek quite badly and had to go back down the hill even though she was only 10 metres from the peak. Overall a great break and will be booking that cottage again, great for meeting up with your friends if you have any!

A posh bloke in the toon

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 12:34:00 +0000

It can't always be up to the man to make his lady laugh so I took my lady to see the comedian John Gordillo at the weekend with his show called Fu*konomics. He might've just been a bit too posh for Newcastle but he had moments that were very funny, especially his story about his Spanish father who insisted on telling his 7 year old Grandson that Willy Wonker's Chocolate factory would not survive with Charlie running it, what with the union problems, umpa lumpas and the capitalist system. Even funnier moments were at crucial points in his stories where someones phone went off on two different occasions. By then we were on to our second bottle of wine so even my own jokes were funny, ask my girlfriend.

Bedroom wind

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 07:47:00 +0000

Can you remember Changing Rooms, the TV programme that had everyone hooked just because you wanted to see someone cry on seeing their transformed room? Either that or you wanted to see Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen punched in the face or strangled by one of his silky sequin scarves. He should've stuck to Bullseye in my opinion (or auditioned for the part of the next Dr. Who).

Anyway, I decided that I was going to do my version of Changing Rooms while the girlfriend was away in London at the weekend and surprise her. So as I'm now 40, I have a batch of sticks that I've saved over the years, ready for stirring paint. The Saturday morning was a morning of horrendous wind outside so I first had to deal with the greenhouse blowing over and general havoc the wind was causing which was a nice start, After that, the furniture was moved out, walls painted (3 coats), wallpapered one wall, stood on roller tray-smashed it, got paint on my shoe, got paint in my hair, opened the window about an inch, wind came in, blew the loft hatch off in on the stairs landing. Apart from that, it all went well even though the girlfriend rang me to say that her train was due in at 3:30PM instead of 5PM. From then I ran around like my ass was on fire to get things ready. It was all worth it to see her face when she walked in to the new room, not a tear in sight, or a Carol Cheesy Smiley.

The willy contender

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:10:00 +0000

Had to take a picture of this in an Asian supermarket. My girlfriend laughed loud, the word Fu-Fu means a lot more to ladies, a nickname for the erm....well you know. Some girls called them 'Flower' too so imagine my surprise when the two words were almost put together! It's a staple food of Africa; the flour, that is.

The modern wedding

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 12:44:00 +0000

Wedding ceremony's are just an excuse for a right good drink, we were at one in Leeds at the weekend and things have moved on in the modern wedding world. It's trendy now to have the whole day dedicated to the wedding, none of this going home and 'getting changed for the night do'. It saves on clothes and gives you more time to drink, socialise and have a nibble on some canapes. My canape was a concoction of venison and liquorice, that's no cheese and pineapple on a cocktail stick (which should make a come back by the way). The speeches were made by four people which lasted an hour or more and were all quite funny. The food was really good especially the mains which included a dustbin sized Yorkshire pudding which I was tempted to put on my head as a wedding hat for some reason. It's also a growing trend for the first dance to be cleverly choreographed and well practiced, you just need to look on YouTube. Seen as the groom used to be a dancer I was expecting something good but it just looked like 'dad-dancing' to me.

Burgers baby

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:13:00 +0000

Thanks to all who voted, I managed to WIN the burger recipe competition with Sainsbury’s Trynation. There’s only one thing for it, make those winning burgers. I reckon it’s like having a baby or practicing to have one:-

Do it outside, it’s more fun and the neighbours can talk all about you to the other neighbours.

Get your hands dirty, get them in the bowl and give the meat a good old work around.
Once you’re out of breath, you’re ready for a bit of patting, molding that meat, make sure you touch the sides.

Produce 6 lovely babies, double it if you’re a catholic or were born in Sunderland.

B-Factor

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 07:45:00 +0000

The burger recipe competition closes in a few days and I'm still in the lead by 4%, there were thousands of entries. If you haven't voted (many thanks if you have), forget the veggie burger in 2nd place and vote for me. Whose heard of a burger without meat anyway? I'm sure it's only in there for diversity reasons. I'm surprised the blue cheese burger was allowed in without having other burgers representing the spectrum of colours. The winner gets £500 worth of shopping so tins and crisps for family Xmas presents this year. GO VOTE FOR ME NOW, TELL YOUR FRIENDS, TELL THE WORLD

The little burga made it

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 18:53:00 +0000

Exciting burger times. My sundried tomato and pine nut burger has made the last 5 in a competition. So if you are reading this and would like to vote, please click here and select the 'Vote for this twist' button for Ian's sundried tomato and pine nut burger. Thanks for voting, will blog the results.

Forget the IPhone, get an IPlate

noreply@blogger.com (cackster) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 12:54:00 +0000

No the IPlate is not a piece of crockery that sings while you eat your dinner, but could really improve your internet performance. If you want to increase your broadband speed then take a look at the IPlate from BT. If you have a master BT socket, you can fit this in seconds and it could make a big difference. It did with me, my speed was 3.9MB average before fitting it and now it's gone up to 4.8MB average. I've regularly used SpeedTest to check my broadband performance (every man should check their performance once in a while) so I know that this has worked. This is well worth a pop, I got mine from the BT Shop for £6.